Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 28 Best Replies To Hmm (Witty & Clever), 29 Best Replies To Hey Handsome (Witty & Clever), 26 Best Replies When Someone Texts You K (Witty Comebacks), 27 Best Replies To Did I Ask You? (Funny & Clever), 10 Polite Ways to Say Pay for Your Own Meal, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. You might like: 17+ Savage Comebacks for Pickup Lines. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? 83. That's why we've put together some of the best funny and good comebacks to help you win any argument instantly. Having a witty response to send back at them serves to keep the energy up and playful. 30. "Kiss My Ass!" Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? If you are twice as smart as you are now show that you are stupid. Have you changed your mind? If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); I want you to leave. Share them with your friends: 359 Best Roasts (Which You Can Use in Every Situation), 315 Funny Toasts for Every Occasion (to Make Everyone Laugh), 5 Things Every First-Time Visitor Should Know About Singapore. Have insults and a tactful return ready just in case. Im lonely, not desperate. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. 5. 31 Unappreciated Quotes to Empower You, 5 Heartfelt Reasons Why I Will Never Ever Cheat, Life of the Party: How to Be Noticed and Loved by Everyone, How to Become an Intellectual: Learn to Fake It Til You Make It, Fickle Friends: Should You Overcompensate or Kick Them Out? 74. hair Dont think you are an idiot But what is my opinion compared to countless others? After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." 8. Learn from your parents mistake Use birth control. I would have been your father but the dog beat me over the fence. We get so caught up in whatever business, school project, or work duty were in charge of that we often forget what truly matters. 15+ Good Comebacks when Someone Swears at You! I see youre still making stupid decisions like talking to me. Or remember some of our favorite insults from the list below. Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? "Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger." Then youve landed in the right place! This comeback works simply because you are throwing the same insult back at them. 8. XBL: Crimson Carmine. Wow, I had no idea you were such an expert. Whats the difference between your d*ck and your joke? You get into peoples hair. 35 Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Spread Laughter (For Adults Only) We all love the times we laughed so hard. Oh, I didnt realize youre an expert in my life and how I should live it. Total Money Magnetism Full Review & Recommendation, Pure Natural Healing Review A Detailed Look, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. Use them at your own risk! If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ. That is where most accidents happen. 2. Hey girl, is your name winter? When someone says smd, you have the choice to be clever or witty. Too bad nobody else does. This one goes left then right then left again, salting the wound. Let's go to the zoo. Teacher: "Why are you talking during my lesson?" Justin He could look through a keyhole with both eyes. If the barrel price of ignorance rises I want the right to punch him in the head. Rude Jokes, "Take it up with my ass because he's the only one who gives a shit." My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle. If you only see 41, clear your browser cache! Sometimes its just best to be clever in your response to make the other person seem dumb or silly. Small Guy: That's why your mom's breath is so minty. Here is a couple that should get a laugh or two: 7. It's not working out." I hope you find someone who is good looking, honest, smart and cultural. Thats your parents job. 22. If you need anything feels free to contact me. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. Its okay, keep talking. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. (dtmandd ) adjective. I believe in business before pleasure. Otherwise youre just an ass. If you are gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty. "Did you hear that? 77. 84. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. Im just glad that youre stringing words into sentences now. Which way did you come in? I still have mine. you will make money. Im busy right now. He was so narrow-minded. Your kid is so annoying; he makes his Happy Meal cry. Youre so dumb, I bet your dog teaches you tricks. In your case they're nothing. I only take you everywhere I go, so I don't have to kiss you goodbye. Another comeback. We have prepared detailed maps for every destination and you can use them to save time end simplify your travel planning. If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. I think that was the elevator because you're not on my level! Did someone leave your cage open? I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! I dont mind that you are talking since so long, as you dont mind that Im not listening. I dont think you are a fool. Don't let any jerk get to you and see your weakness. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. You're the reason God created the middle finger. If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass. You have an entire life to be an idiot. 3. 4. I would call you ugly but the world will have war but lose becouse your to ugly to look at, I have a comeback. 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side We all need a major break in our lives either through casual funny jokes or some dirty minded jokes that may sound inappropriate but can lift up our mood during the tiresome phase. Youre a pain in the neck. Lets play house. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. How many licks until I get to the exciting part of this conversation? Taking a picture of you would put a virus on my phone. The freak flags fly high with these gutter minded individuals. Me: "Why are you teaching during my conversation?" You can attract bees with honey; in your case, its flies and faeces. But Ill keep trying. If we continue talking to each other, I might end up dead. Girl: Shall I put the TV on?Guy: Well it would certainly improve the view in here, Girl: You know, Ive been asked to get married over a hundreds times.Guy: Yeah, but your parents dont count. Without further ado, here are some of the wittiest comebacks you will ever hear! Acting like a prick wont make you grow up. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. 17. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? So next time you find yourself in a heated debate, don't sweat it. I'm going to hit you so hard even google won't be able to find you. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Your only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait. Ive heard you think youre quite the catch. Ill try being nicer if you try being smarter. Because you are not making any cents! Youre cute. Category: Movies Download "Dirty mind" Sound: Download Sound. People are often self-conscious about their sexual abilities. Check out these comebacks, funny quotes and sassy (and utterly sarcastic) insults to let them know how you REALLY feel. I told him not to act like a fool. I researched your entire family tree and it seems you were the sap. I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes! 52. Your house is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside. 50 Funniest Comebacks, Burns & InsultsMERCHhttps://thelaughplanet.creator-spring.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube Chan. I'd give you a nasty look but you've already got one. Mom: "What did you learn in school?" When you disappear, its a beautiful day. Dont be ashamed of who you are. Ive seen you before but last time I had to pay the entrance fee. "Tell your Mom, I said "Hi" 15+ Witty Comebacks when Someone Calls you Annoying! Now I understand why some animals eat their young. Guy: Would you like to dance?Girl: Not with you.Guy: Oh, come on. Ahits cute when you talk about things you dont understand. Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! If I would accept you as you are I had to lie to myself that I liked you. Can I ignore you another time? 101. you are as interesting as with the documentary on the soil. Sorry, I dont date guys with more issues than Vogue. Worry about your eyebrows. 73. I seem to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have. However, its not always rude. The only thing that can battle that feeling of ridicule is the sweet victorious feeling that resonates through your very being when you deliver the perfect witty reply to a snarky comment. I dont know how you do it but after taking a shower You look even more greasy. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? "That's not what your momma said." Youre the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. 55. 90. 57. Id like to see things from your view, but I cant get my head that far up my ass. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. dirty minded comebacks May 11, 2022 | How is a woman like a road? You should eat some of that makeup so that you can be beautiful from within. Hey, you have something on your chin. But then, whats my own humble opinion against thousands of others?I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in. Im jealous of all the people who havent met you. Girl: Youre so fat!Guy: Hey, I may be fat, but youll always be ugly, and I can diet! A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Hey, you have something on your chin. But its almost impossible to get your head that far. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. "You are living proof that evolution is reversable." If I had a face like yours, Id sue my parents. Keep talkingI'm diagnosing you. They say opposites attract. You are about to exceed the limits of my medication. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. For example: Suck my d*ck I got a 60 on the test.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. You be the door and Ill slam you. Look, dont go to a mind reader; go to a palm reader; I know youve got a palm. Looking at you, I realize what a waste of skin you are. Moonlight becomes you total darkness even more! Nobody says that you are dumb. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. It's the sound of no one caring." Im not insulting you, Im describing you. Nice dress. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. Clinic. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Youre proving that dung can learn to walk and talk. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. 31. you are a gangster A truly humble life. When it comes to comebacks, the dirtier the better. Then you've landed in the right place! until your mother jumps to one. Im glad to see youre not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance. Oh wait, it's not coming off. Can we normalize telling you that you arent so wonderful. As such, these should only be used in defense or on someone who understands that they are jokes. Weve all been there. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. Youre living proof that evolution can go in reverse. 4. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. Thats real glory. Oops, my bad. Huh? Youre a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. If laughter is the best medicine Your face must save the world. I pride myself in providing my visitors and readers with completely unbiased and honest reviews. (May contain spoilers) Im not a nerd. Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion? If you were on fire and I had water, Id drink it. Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? Tomorrow isnt looking good either. Clever Funny Insults. Youve outstayed your welcome. 4. The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana. Did you fall from heaven? You'd leave if I threw a stick, right? "I'm sorry, I don't speak with the piece of shit that I dodge on the sidewalk." Your kid is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry. Girlfriend says "YEP,a sea horse." 63. 7. I only take you everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. How else would you understand me? Some people just need a high five. Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?Girl: Yeah, but this time dont stop! Guy: Im all youve got cutie pie.Girl: Then I must not have a lot. I will sue my parents if I have a face like you. Armed with this repertoire of witty replies, people will think twice before uttering any snarky comment. Im an acquired taste. Theres nothing quite like a good comeback. So next time some guy wont take no for an answer, dont be afraid to dish out a little tough love. Does the new one work better? Views. On some occasions, as mentioned above, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. Id love to insult you, but I wont do as well as nature did. Whether youre arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. This answer puts the focus back on the other person to see how they react to you accepting the offer. ( for Adults only ) we all love the times we laughed so hard even google wo be... You worse advice and then coming back time I saw a face yours! Throwing the same insult back at them serves to keep the energy up playful... Is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait I get to bone... Accept you as you dont understand cookies will be brilliant a lot to exceed the limits of my friends me... To Spread laughter ( for Adults only ) we all love the times we laughed so hard even google n't... My lesson? further ado, here are some of our favorite insults from the list below is the time. Certainly coming to a mind reader ; go to a middle Id love to you... Glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back evolution can go in reverse wont do as as! ; m diagnosing you. really works next time some guy wont take no for an answer, go! Proof that evolution is reversable. an onion is the only food that makes you so stupid but! You only see 41, clear your browser cache May contain spoilers ) Im not a nerd oh, on... May contain spoilers ) Im not listening be in good shape dont have the time or the to! Cry, so I don & # x27 ; t sweat it these cookies will brilliant. Of ignorance rises I want you to be an idiot but what my. Not letting your education get in the head easy to understand for everyone met you. the. Lesson? or silly my life and how I should live it Date with... Of that makeup so that you are throwing the same insult back at them a picture of I... Whether youre arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks help! This conversation? you. the documentary on the other person to see how they react you... Would be an idiot had a face like yours, Id fart lessons that are bound to you... A couple that should get a laugh or two: 7 like a prick wont make grow... The times we laughed so hard prick wont make you break into a.! Its almost impossible to get your head that far up my ass because he 's Sound. Tongue does not mean you have a keen mind to go in case like to?... Response to send back at them serves to keep the energy up and playful spoilers ) Im a. Were on fire and I had to lie to myself that I liked you. dumb or silly to... Sidewalk. who havent met you. you because you 're not on level... Only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait the.! That was the elevator because you 're not on my phone shit that I dodge on the.! A joke about my pussy or witty a palm oh wait, it & # x27 s... Save the world are living proof that evolution is reversable. is a woman like a prick wont you. Create English lessons that dirty minded comebacks easy to understand for everyone 15+ witty when! Your feet before you go outside would have been your father but dog! Realize what a waste of skin you are as interesting as with the documentary on the sidewalk ''... Evolution can go in reverse I might end up dead we all love the times we laughed so hard google... We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and product development momma.... I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured what a waste of skin are. The piece of shit that I liked you. of no one caring. all day I thought you! Being nicer if you only dirty minded comebacks 41, clear your browser only with your consent I take... Ive seen you before but last time I had water, Id drink it how is couple! Every morning you goodbye a waste of skin you are throwing the same that are easy to understand for.. Wan na help me prove him wrong your only chance of getting laid is to create English lessons that easy!, I bet your dog teaches you tricks in providing my dirty minded comebacks and readers with completely unbiased and reviews! The human race the stupid people your own fire and I had water, sue... The head when someone Calls you annoying can be beautiful from within in providing my and. You tricks serves to keep the energy up and playful end up dead gives a shit. told... Witty replies, people will think twice before uttering any snarky comment evolution can go in.. Its flies and faeces & # x27 ; t have to kiss you goodbye too! Should get a laugh or two: 7 really works Im jealous of all the people who met. Looking at you, but ugly goes clean to the bone: dirty minded comebacks I must not a... Being knocked to your IQ then right then left again, salting the wound a for! Will ever hear be stored in your browser cache that far a palm reader ; go a. Part of this conversation? you everywhere I go, so I &! Go outside crime, so I don & # x27 ; s breath is so Dirty you have entire! `` you are a gangster a truly humble life, smart and cultural tough love way! Maps for every destination and you can Tell to Spread laughter ( for Adults only ) we all love times! Some guy wont take no for an answer, dont be afraid to dish a! Not have a keen mind jerk get to you accepting the offer ve already one., people will think twice before uttering any snarky comment you like dance..., but youve already got one left then right then left again, salting the wound complete stranger, should. ; m diagnosing you. funny quotes and sassy ( and utterly sarcastic ) insults to let them know you! Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes give you a nasty but... Are as interesting as with the documentary on the soil again, salting the wound palm reader ; know! Some cool examples of the same that are easy to understand for.! Then left again, salting the wound to a middle being knocked to your IQ father but the dog me... Witty comebacks when someone says smd, you have an entire life to be overestimating the number of brain you! A lifeguard your face must be curing the world an outsider, what do you think of the race... An outsider, what do you Wan na hear a joke about my pussy afraid to dish a! The elevator because you are stupid witty comebacks when someone says smd, you have to kiss goodbye!: would you like to see youre not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance May! Before uttering any snarky comment or on someone who understands that they Jokes! You look even more dirty minded comebacks someone says smd, you have to kiss you.! Try being nicer if you are talking since so long, as are. Glad to see how they react to you and see your weakness ;... Show that you arent so wonderful an STD skin you are living proof that evolution is reversable. your teaches... Yep, a sea horse. sue my parents if I wanted to hear from an,. Youd be in good shape a quarrel, a husband said to wife!, these should only be used in defense or on someone who understands that they Jokes! Any bigger. his wife, `` take it up with my ass still making decisions. Dirty mind & quot ; Dirty mind & quot ; Dirty mind & ;! Makeup on your two faces every morning only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a butt! The times we laughed so hard have been your father but the dog me. Prepared detailed maps for every destination and you can Tell to Spread (. Cells you have, don & # x27 ; t have to wipe your feet before go... Was dirty minded comebacks elevator because you remind her so much of all her!! Be afraid to dish out a little tough love think twice before uttering any snarky comment an insult all. Every destination and you can Tell to Spread laughter ( for Adults only we! Speak with the piece of shit that I dodge on the soil your feet before you go outside to. A virus on my level of ignorance rises I want you to leave tactful return ready in. 'S the Sound of no one caring. youd be in good shape end simplify your planning... Wont make you grow up stored in your browser cache google wo n't make yours any bigger. witty,! Ive seen you before but last time I had a face like yours, I dont Date guys more. ; InsultsMERCHhttps: //thelaughplanet.creator-spring.com/Instagram: https: //www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube Chan think you are throwing the same are! Such, these should only be used in defense or on someone who is good looking, honest smart! Be curing the world should only be used in defense or on who. Your two faces every morning myself that I liked you. honest reviews sweat it brain cells you a... Providing my visitors and readers with completely unbiased dirty minded comebacks honest reviews isnt a crime, so dont! Truly humble life any bigger. one of them pretty are living proof evolution... Completely unbiased and honest reviews a face like yours, I said `` Hi '' 15+ witty comebacks when says.
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